HILLSPEAKING
from The Anglican Digest
TRANSFIGURATION A.D. 2002

THIRTY years is a long time. It is a time span here on Grindstone Mountain that has seen a succession of four-footed furry “greeters” welcome visitors to Hillspeak.

First, there were three dogs: Sam and Becky, Border collies, and Hanky Panky, a three-legged mutt of uncertain ancestry.  It was for Hanky Panky’s convenience that the old stairs from the basement to the first floor of the Barn were carpeted.

After the canine trio came a succession of feline greeters.  The first, Bandit, came to Hillspeak from North Carolina pregnant and her kittens, Matthew, Mark, Lucy and John, were delivered in the pantry of the Old Residence.  Subsequent and closer inspection revealed that Matthew should have been named Matthea.  Lucy stayed on with Bandit as the Hillspeak Cats; the mis-named Matthew fell victim to an eagle or a hawk at an early age and John, too, came to a bitter fate: he was adopted by a lawyer.  Mark was renamed Luke Skywalker (his papa was named Chewbacca), moved to Texas, came back to Hillspeak, and lived out his life in California.

Bandit, the undisputed Queen of the Barn (to be truthful, there were disputes but they all ended in Bandit's favor), died of old age at 18+ (we never really knew her exact age).  Lucy, despite the filial tie, was among the cats denied access to the Barn (Bandit was a stern parent) along with Rasputin, a stray that came in out of the woods and earned his name because of his raspy meow, and Pete (another misnomer, she should have been Pita), rescued by one of our granddaughters in Texas.

Lucy, Rasputin and Pete have all joined Bandit under the apple tree in front of the Old Residence.

About eighteen months before Bandit died, Gray showed up from out of the woods. She also was pregnant when she arrived and delivered her four kittens, Enie, Menie, Minie and Moe, in the tractor shed.  Enie and Menie died young, but Minie and Moe, along with Gray, are still with us.  Now the undisputed Queen of the Barn, Gray is more lenient than Bandit.  She lets tomcats in the Barn on sufferance -- as long as they behave.

Two more cats and two dogs nowadays make up the greeters group.  Ptolemy, a black cat with seven white hairs on his belly, also came out of the woods and earned his name because he looks like an Egyptian temple cat.  Ubi (for ubiquitous) was given to us by a priest friend who said she showed up announced at his barn).

Godfrey, part Border collie and part German shepherd, is the official greeter at Hillspeak.  The mailman speaks first to Godfrey, then to any bipeds who happen to be around; and if delivery men are not greeted by Godfrey they want to know where he is.  Finally, there is Baby, a terrier mutt from Texas: her bark is bigger than she is, and her whole rear end wriggles with her tail, thus belying her bark.

Come to Hillspeak and be welcomed in style -- by Baby, Godfrey, Gray, Minie, Moe, Ptolemy or Ubi -- or by all seven of them.